September is just around the corner. For many children,
that means a mix of excitement and dread, new backpacks,
new teachers, and a whole lot of uncertainty. Some
nervousness about going back to school is completely
normal. But for some children, that anxiety goes deeper
and can make the transition genuinely hard.
As a child therapist in Ottawa working with children ages
7 and up, I see this every year. Here's what back to school
anxiety actually looks like, what helps, and when it might
be time to reach out for support.
What Back to School Anxiety Actually Looks Like
Children don't always have the words to say "I'm anxious."
Instead, you might notice:
- Worries about their new teacher... will they be strict?
Will they be kind?
- Fear about friendships... will their best friend be in
their class? What if they don't know anyone?
- Concerns about the difficulty of the material... what
if it's too hard?
- Stress about class changes or a new school environment
- Disruption to the summer routine, which can feel
destabilizing even when children have been looking
forward to September
Physically, anxiety often shows up in the body. Stomach
aches before school, chest tightness, headaches, and
trouble sleeping are all common. Children may also become
more withdrawn, quieter than usual, or stuck in a loop of
worried questions, asking the same things over and over
because their anxious mind is looking for reassurance.
Research confirms that anxiety is a very common mental health concerns in school-aged children,
and transitions like the start of a new school year are
known to be a significant trigger. You are not imagining
it, and your child is not being dramatic.
What Actually Helps
The good news is that there are things you can do at home
that are genuinely evidence-based and effective.
Answer their questions honestly and calmly. When your
child asks the same worried question for the fifth time,
it can be tempting to redirect or dismiss it. But sitting
with their worry and answering it directly, helps them feel heard and builds
trust. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy research shows that
validating a child's experience while gently offering a
realistic perspective is one of the most effective
approaches for childhood anxiety.
Name the emotion and normalize it. "It sounds like you're
feeling nervous about school starting. That makes a lot
of sense, big changes can feel scary." Simply labeling
emotions helps children process them rather than being
overwhelmed by them. This is called emotion coaching, and
it works.
Talk about what they need. Ask your child what would help
them feel more ready. Would they like to drive by the school
before September? Meet the teacher in advance (if possible)? Have a plan
for what to do at lunch if they feel lonely? Giving children
some agency over the transition reduces helplessness and
builds confidence.
Make a concrete plan together. Work with your child and
their teacher on a first-week plan; what drop-off will
look like, what to do if they feel overwhelmed, who they
can go to at school if they need support. Structure and
predictability are powerful antidotes to anxiety.
When to Seek Support
Most back to school anxiety settles within a few weeks
once the new routine becomes familiar. But sometimes it
doesn't, and that's when professional support can make
a real difference.
Consider reaching out to a therapist if your child:
- Is withdrawing from activities they used to enjoy
- Is constantly preoccupied with school worries even
outside of school hours
- Has physical symptoms, stomach aches, headaches
that are affecting their daily life
- Is refusing to go to school or has significant
meltdowns around school mornings
- Has anxious thoughts that feel stuck and are getting
more intense rather than settling
Early intervention matters. Research consistently shows
that anxiety in children responds well to treatment,
and that the earlier support is put in place, the better
the outcomes. You don't have to wait to reach out.
A Note for Parents
Watching your child struggle with anxiety is hard. You
want to help, and it can feel helpless when you can't.
But your calm, steady presence, answering questions,
naming emotions, making plans, is more powerful than
you might think. You are already doing something important
just by paying attention.
If you're in Ottawa and wondering whether your child
might benefit from some extra support this school year,
I'm here. I work with children ages 7 and up in English
and French, in person and virtually across Ontario.
Book a free 15-minute consultation and let's talk.
Janelle Massicotte
Contact Me
